In other words...okay, there are no other words. Just these. So, um.. it's been a while since I've been at home. Reaaaally long-long time and I don't feel good about it. Not to mention all the stuff that needs to be done and requires a lot of concentration, which I would like to dedicate, but can't. And that is no excuse, the word combination "can't"should not exist, not at least in my vocabulary. I'll eat it out from there no doubt.
***
I've been told that I need to learn how to trust. It's funny that actually giving advice is easy. And I speak of my own experience, not anyone else's. You are asked and then you just give away whatever you think about it, sometimes without paying any attention on the possible reaction. No, I speak in general. Not of today or yesterday. I possibly couldn't get careless on these. But there certainly have been moments when I was asked and in response I only said what I thought. And I didn't think of anything nice. But now when I think about it, the safety of asking other's opinion (or maybe lack of one?), it seems to me that asking someone should only be done, when you are already in a dead end. Not in one, where there actually are exits, it's just you don't want to use them. Nope. When it really is a dead end and the walls are at least 3 metres high and not climbable. Only then. And even then you should choose carefully, who to ask. You see, there are those, who instead of throwing you a rope down there will pull a lever which will open a hole underneath you. Your choice. You know, who surrounds you...
***
...it's just sometimes you don't want to confess to yourself. Also in my case. I think there are a lot of those, who hide devils' grin behind their smile. Luckily, they are not staying for long. Sometimes those that I want to be closer, come out to be a total opposite. And vice versa. The strangest thing is, I think, that those, who are sincere with me, also receive more rudeness from my side. Whatever it is that I try to maintain politeness with those that mean nothing to me and with the others I just don't control what I say. They sometimes get the words they do not deserve, both sides. You know what they say - in a spoon it's the medicine, in a cup it's poison.
***
There are valuable lessons around everyone. Catch them, agree to listen. I did today and I feel so blessed. There are people that you want to forget forever and there are those that you want maybe not to keep close but to have them nearby so they could always tell you a thing or two. Not the advice. A lesson and advice are two different things. You learn from the first and the other one is just an option. So here's the thing - today was the first one. And I am really thankful, since I can take these for also my philosophy. Philosophy of life I mean of course. Anyway, I will be distilling those words for much longer time, they were like the wine I drank today - the taste of them was good and rememberable for a while.
See you, don't know when though.
PS. Thunder is gone.
Besos,
Alex.
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