Bye-bye RoseLand..

Sometimes I get the feeling that I'm just missing out everything legendary. Precisely when I find out about something old and interesting enough to be considered as one, either it's at its final steps or about to close or retiring or whatever. The point is - I miss it. What makes it more difficult is that usually this place/artist at the time of discovery is already unreachable so I have no chance to actually get there before the moment X. And it's sad, at least I think so. Well, some can say that stuff still exists in memories and recordings but c'mon, in order to have memory of it, first I have to get there, no? Oh, by the way, I've discovered that my blog has some audience in US. If you'll read this one and will get to NYC, visit the Ballroom. Just do it. Ok? Thanks, I count on You.
***
In my opinion, not everything can be understood in only one way. No, wait. Most things can't be. But some less than the others. And for me there was always one world where I think, everyone can feel just as free as they want to be, because nobody can tell them they are wrong unless they really are insulting someone else. I speak of art. Yees, it sounds like a cliche, but it also should sound like one, since I'm not the only one to think like that, which makes me feel that I'm right. When in my mind I'm painting a picture of a situation, I think of it as a piece of artistic interpretation, not a realistic bullshit. When I describe a situation I try to say it out with all the flavours it had, because words can be sometimes like colours on your palette of mind. It's up to you to choose the technique, the style and the characters you put on the canvas and also on the future projections. It's not a mirroring of the reality but instead I'd dare to say that this in some ways is the reality. If not, then what is the reality? Imagination of some freakshow? Illusion of the Mani-bowers? Delirium? Please, No.

Chapter X, triple X...

..or a simple perversion I came across with. Just unbelievable how much can the atmosphere change everything and blend stuff together. It creates a mess, unwanted one. I speak of last tour, which I really want to label as one of the strangest tours I've ever had. For whatever reason, almost 100 people after days full of conferences and other bullshit ordered a tour in the art museum. I mean - after a hard day work who cares about art? Depends on the work of course but not this time. And it was just strange but I think I managed.
Exchange-birthday-birthday-come together, a.k.a. my autumn. It feels like a preparation for Erasmus.

Потому что нет ничего сильнее ностальгии и...

Можно мне в психдом?

Совсем недавно решил я повоспитывать себя с культурной стороны и сделать то, что мне очень нравится - а именно сходить в театр. Благо Русский Театр Эстонии мне в этом помог и сам любезно предоставил мне два билета на весьма нашумевший спектакль - "Можно я буду Моцартом?". Найти себе компанию не составило большого труда, благо в моих  кругах театр очень уважается и вот мы сидим в зале и ждём начала. Сама реклама этого спектакля была просто поражающая - столько света, движения и эмоций, что хотелось всё бросить и прямо побежать на него.
Итак, уже начало было впечатляющим - всё дело началось уже в зале, когда среди нас некоторые повскакивали со своих мест, пугая сидящих рядом. После чего действие уже потихоньку перекочевало на сцену, развиваясь самым...гм...интересным образом. Звуки, движение, "Доброе утро", свет - всё это смешалось в один большой комок эмоций, который полетел в нашу сторону и взорвался. Актёры выкладывались на 200%, что не могло не порадовать, но в один момент на смену восторгу пришло недоумение. Футуристичное оформление и всё больше спонтанные диалоги, насколько мало, насколько их было совершенно запутали и под конец было просто некомфортно за всем этим наблюдать. Я сам поклонник всяких интересных абстрактных вещиц, пъес итд, но здесь и я, даже после некоторого времени, в течении которого я честно пытался анализировать увиденное, могу с чистой совестью сказать, что я не понял ничего. Ни диалогов, ни смысла ни связи с заглавком сиего творения - на Моцарта ни малейшего намёка тут не было.
В общем что хочу сказать - да, возможно я ещё не дорос до творений с ТАКИМ глубоким смыслом. Я не говорю, что нынче театр плох. Нет, у Русского, как и у остальных театров есть очень хорошие постановки, взять того-же Снарка, о котором я писал раннее. Но этот раз для меня оказался неудачным. Будь я критиком и имея 10 баллов на выдачу, результат был бы 3/10.

Trust is what you make, trust is what you break

In other words...okay, there are no other words. Just these. So, um.. it's been a while since I've been at home. Reaaaally long-long time and I don't feel good about it. Not to mention all the stuff that needs to be done and requires a lot of concentration, which I would like to dedicate, but can't. And that is no excuse, the word combination "can't"should not exist, not at least in my vocabulary. I'll eat it out from there no doubt.
***
I've been told that I need to learn how to trust. It's funny that actually giving advice is easy. And I speak of my own experience, not anyone else's. You are asked and then you just give away whatever you think about it, sometimes without paying any attention on the possible reaction. No, I speak in general. Not of today or yesterday. I possibly couldn't get careless on these. But there certainly have been moments when I was asked and in response I only said what I thought. And I didn't think of anything nice. But now when I think about it, the safety of asking other's opinion (or maybe lack of one?), it seems to me that asking someone should only be done, when you are already in a dead end. Not in one, where there actually are exits, it's just you don't want to use them. Nope. When it really is a dead end and the walls are at least 3 metres high and not climbable. Only then. And even then you should choose carefully, who to ask. You see, there are those, who instead of throwing you a rope down there will pull a lever which will open a hole underneath you. Your choice. You know, who surrounds you...
***
...it's just sometimes you don't want to confess to yourself. Also in my case. I think there are a lot of those, who hide devils' grin behind their smile. Luckily, they are not staying for long. Sometimes those that I want to be closer, come out to be a total opposite. And vice versa. The strangest thing is, I think, that those, who are sincere with me, also receive more rudeness from my side. Whatever it is that I try to maintain politeness with those that mean nothing to me and with the others I just don't control what I say. They sometimes get the words they do not deserve, both sides. You know what they say - in a spoon it's the medicine, in a cup it's poison.
***
There are valuable lessons around everyone. Catch them, agree to listen. I did today and I feel so blessed. There are people that you want to forget forever and there are those that you want maybe not to keep close but to have them nearby so they could always tell you a thing or two. Not the advice. A lesson and advice are two different things. You learn from the first and the other one is just an option. So here's the thing - today was the first one. And I am really thankful, since I can take these for also my philosophy. Philosophy of life I mean of course. Anyway, I will be distilling those words for much longer time, they were like the wine I drank today - the taste of them was good and rememberable for a while.

See you, don't know when though.

PS. Thunder is gone.

Besos,
Alex.

Очень нечасто

делаю я такие обращения, но сейчас хочу. Господь, спасибо Тебе за эту женщину, что Ты дал миру этот голос. Без неё он был бы пустым.

Если в приключении
Покину этот мир
Ты мне как кровь
Двойная любовь
Мой ДНК

И на кофте твоей
Я вышью "М"
Чтоб наши крови убедить
С ветром сойтись
Мой ДНК